I took this photo a couple of weeks ago in Thumsee when I went for a walk around the lake there. I love a photo that makes me see things differently.
It has been a strange old week in my old house. Well, strange is probably the wrong word. Fraught. That is the word. Life takes us on a journey and we never really know what will be revealed down each path. I arrived at a crossroads some time ago and chose a path that was far more overgrown than I imagined. I have spent many years attempting to cultivate the path, changing its direction, cutting back brambles to open up a new walkway, only for more brambles to spring up in a different place, treading in the shadows and basking in the sunlight. This week I think I emerged into a clearing, slap bang in the middle of a rainstorm. Still I believe that dancing in the rain is far more important than hiding under a shelter, who knows what you find when you step in puddles.
Maybe the puddles will reveal a whole new direction.
It is hard to think of that at times but a couple of years ago I was in a restaurant celebrating a birthday and this poster was on the wall right next to where I sat. I photographed it and come back to it often. I often think about the dream and if I truly owned it for myself or was I chasing somebody else’s dream. I have to remind myself that it is ok if I took the wrong path and, no matter how others think or feel, I have to be true to myself.
So, back to this last week and all the fraughtness and tension that have been building for some time finally came to a head. Not pleasant but evolving can only bring pain if you are to reach the giddy heights of pleasure. The best way I know to deal with pain is to recognise it, acknowledge it, and then READ.
I often find myself alone pottering around the house and this can be one of my greatest joys or biggest frustrations. Last Sunday being the latter of the two for many reasons but last week, rather than get upset, I decided on a diversionary tactic. It was the perfect opportunity to finish reading a book that I had started some time ago and so lazing on the sofa with Remember Me by Sophie Kinsella, a hot cup of mint tea and a great dane curled up at my feet I immersed myself in a fun and easy read. Staying there all day until the sun went down and not actually moving was pure luxury as Barney slept through after the excitement of visitors the week before had worn him to a frazzle.
Life turned on it’s heel on Monday and the fraughtness began. I have stumbled through each and every day, walking Barney, journaling, cleaning and painting furniture. Life is all about change and I am sure that there are many changes coming I just need to work out how best to effect those changes in my life in a way that is positive and caring.
Yesterday I returned to Thumsee. The sun wasn’t shining so brightly and the reeds had grown tall. I sat on a bench with Barney laying beside me and thought about the numerous changes I have been through over the years and how I am still here, still standing and still ploughing on. So, maybe the reeds in my life will just be a protection from the winds of change, a place to rest and to prepare for the next big push.